Jesus, Not Yoga

There are few things that Jesus hates more than Atheistic Norwegian imigrants living in Britain, and yoga is one of them.

Damn straight. Become a fan here.

Proof they R coming

a sign from god!

Hello, Mr. Dawkins!

I just found this highly articulate, well thought out comment on the blog of that Satanic bitch, Splendid Elles.

Hallo Mr. Dawkins!
I respect You absolut as a big Humanist, Scientist and
a big Thinker. Very few people understand Your good
books. For Your book and for book of Michel Onfray, a
people do not have to much mind, because is a Science!
A people do not liked Science!

It is a better Jesus-Superstition! Demons, Satan and
Engels. The people have to much interest for a Bible:
Genocide, War, Cannibalism, Pedophily, Cruelty, Vio-
lence! We have to big Biblepropagand in Internet!

The people liked Violence, Racism and Genocide!!!

Atheist!

It took me a while ’cause I thought he was still being nice to that curmudgeon fool Dawkins, but then I realised that he was being sarcastic. I’m still confused how he thought that Elles was Richard Dawkins, but hey, his comment was intelligent enough that I can overlook that.

He’s totally right about Atheists being violent, racist, genocidal freaks. I mean, everyone knows that Elles is extremely racist against pale Norwegian folk because of her Atheism.

We who follow a God never do violent acts like wars, it’s not like the more extreme members of Christianity have ever bombed abortion clinics, it’s not like we forgot to excommunicate Hitler, whereas the modern Atheist movement have… uh… lemme get back to you on that one.

SWINE FLU.

…

 

 

 

 

THE BRITISH ARE COMING, THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!

An important discovery

Today, I realized that America is really a conspiracy.

That’s right, America doesn’t exist. They want us to believe that we really live here… but nay… we live SOMEWHERE ELSE.

Think about it. It totally explains why the British haven’t invaded us… it’s because they ALREADY HAVE.

Obama is really a brit and we’ve been enslaved. America is actually in the UK. They just want us to think that we really have a constitution. In reality, they just kill people who don’t agree with them. There is no free speech.

I urge you to tell your friends and family about this… and maybe, one day, we can escape.

God bless

 

Chris

Evidence of British Invasion in Blog Stats

Right after my last post my blog stats page looked like this:

What happened on 7/7? That’s right. This is clearly a sign from God that I’m correct about the British Invasion.

The British are coming, the British are coming. Oh my God, the British are coming!

The Brits Were in On It

9/11 was a tragedy that changed our lives. But not all of us buy the “official story” of what happened.

You know what I think is fishy?

Well, think about it. There were two cities struck on 9/11. New York City and Washington D.C. Charles Dickens once wrote a book called A Tale of Two Cities.

Coincidence?

There were two towers that fell. J.R.R. Tolkein’s second novel in the Lord of the Rings trilogy was called The Two Towers and the movie adaptations was released one year after 9/11/2001.

Coincidence?

You might say that, but consider the following: Both J.R.R. Tolkein and Charles Dickens are British.

So fine. Call it a coincidence. But I’ll tell you that the TRUTH will come out!

My Conversion Testimony

Dear Rhema,

I, for the first time in my 42 years of life, prayed to the Holy Spirit to save me from wallowing in my pityful hole of rancorous sin. After all those 42 years of masturbating, and lesbian sex, all those lesbian pornographic satanic implements, the evilution-themed lesbian pick up lines (“punctuate my equilibrium and we can coevolve a mutualistic symbiotic relationship”) and not to mention more lesbian sex, I have cast off my dirty sexual lust and let JEsus into my heart.

I prayed the prayer, opening my heart to the eternal light of His love, and it was the most defining experience of all my life.

I could hear Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana all of a sudden. I listened to this music with my newly changed Christian ears, but I could not tell the source of it. I think it was the music of God Himself. It was then followed by Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture. I looked into the deep, profound night sky and fireworks spontaneously exploded in the sky.

I raised my arms in prayer to the Heavens and was overcome by the love and power of the Holy Spirit. I fell to the ground and cried and spoke in tongues and convulsed. I convulsed like an ant infected with a parasitic fungus spore climbing to the top of the grass.

And then, my euphoria, like the fungus growing so as to release more spores in a sudden explosion, burst in raging hormonal angst and all that was left was God.

Silence thudded through the air. The still night shone with the light of billions of 6,000 year old stars. All of God’s Creation was singing.

Grace. For the first time in my 42 years of lesbianism, I felt grace. No more do I lust for other women. All that I have in my heart is the warmth of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Fist-Fucking Spirit.

Thank you Rhema. I am forever grounded in my indelible stamp of unmovable, unshakeable, unreasonable, irrevocable faith.

Deepest regards,

Rose Wallaby

Ex-FAGGOT

Jesus Hates Yoga

It’s true. Yoga is a sin.

 

Don’t believe me?

 

Believe this. The millions of americans who practice yoga every day are practicing hinduism. If you don’t want this satanic religion (and trust me, I don’t either) infecting the minds of youngsters everywhere… JOIN THE CAUSE.

 

How, do you ask?

 

Well, it’s simple really. We have to boycott yoga.

In fact, stretching of any kind may be reminiscent of yoga, especially pilates. I urge you to refrain from any excercise or stretch similar to yoga in any way whatsoever, including any exercise that utilizes your muscles in order to “increase mental productivity”, as yoga claims to do.

But we few are the ones who know that this is equivalent to brainwashing. In fact, it can be used as child abuse!

 

Join Jesus in stopping the evils of the devil-ridden yoga!

-Chris

Evolution is Nazism

No, you have to say evolution first, you whore.

Cassie

“Teen Skepchick”

See! Nazi Darwinists are fascists! They will force their beliefs upon anybody!

This is something that Cassie said to a person she told me was a “parrot” while she was witholding a cracker from them. It’s because of her Nazi Darwinists beliefs that Cassie is so dehumanizing to people so as to call them animals!

It’s bad enough to not give the “parrot” the cracker, but to deny them their rights and to call them animals is even worse!!!!!!

Cassie, you’re a whore!

I hope that when Jesus comes he sends you to Hell where you belong for all your rudeness to this human you called a “parrot”.

But Jesus loves you!!1

-Rose